The silence is loud
I like words; They are art. I can express everything I'm feeling with letters and numbers. When I release them I feel fulfilled. Words give life to others and to me so understanding can come. Although I know some people use words for harm and I have in the past, I use them now for good. They build, they uplift, they can encourage and also mend.
Silence is also like words. Silence speaks when words fail us. It says look into my eyes, watch my body move.... respect me without the letters....know me fully because you study, not because I speak. I like the silence too. It is powerful.
Sometimes people use silence because they realize its power and sometimes because they don't have the words. Many times we assume that silence is an indication of surety. If they are silent, they must be confident and know what they will or won't do. While that is the case at times, it can also be an indication that they are in unfamiliar territory. Silence can say I am sure or silence can whisper, I am afraid. It fears if I speak too much maybe I'll step wrong or maybe I'll be rejected. If I say too much you will have access to me in such a way that compromises my sense of power. I can't say do that because at least when I'm silent you assume I'm in control. As for me I don't assume that at all.
There is freedom in speaking and giving your heart to the right person. There is release when you can say, "I love you", or "please stay here with me" or "I miss you". It warms another to know that there is something true in you that you must express to them. There is a liberty in the speaking of it.
I have said to others that I have lost nothing by sharing my words of love or emotion. If I die tomorrow you knew all my love. If I lose you by some fault of yours you will hear those words forever ringing in your ears. If I lose you by some fault of my own at least you know that a part of me adored you fully. There is no loss for me to give you beautiful thoughts translated through consonants and vowels, sentences and prose. I gladly give that. I wish more people could return the favor and not assume the silence will say it all. Not always, but sometimes, just tell me you want me to stay before its too late and you can only whisper to yourself, "I wish I would have". Don't wait until words no longer work and all you have is silence.
Be blessed,
Chelsea
