As I release my song, "This isn't love" to Itunes and digital stores today I am caused to reflect on my life and love experiences.
I wrote this song because I had fallen for a sexy bachelor. This person was 12 years younger than me and a handsome entertainment exec with a street past. I fell in love with the idea that I needed something fresh and exciting and that the goodie-two- shoes life I had always lived could be transformed into something totally new and boss. He was long distance and our relationship was never full fledged but he taught me a lot about myself. I chose him and the prospect of him over a lot of really good people and decisions. After all of it I realized that the only thing I was chasing was a departure from the routine of my life.
I learned so much about the world during this love affair, but mostly that I like who I am in the end. I am a person of integrity with a lot of love and nurturing to offer the right person. I realized that I can't live a street life by any stretch of the imagination. I don't want to have to ever look over my shoulder just because I'm in love... and that the company that you keep is just as important as the person you choose to be everyday.
I am no Lauren London. I don't want to watch my king die at the hands of the street. I want and now have a peaceful life with an educated, loving and NORMAL man.
"This isn't love" reminds me that there is a cost to every association and none of mine are worth my peace. I am grateful for what I've experienced and what I am becoming each day.