I do what I want
Here is just a little note to say, I DO WHAT I WANT. I do what I want because I'm the only one dealing with the consequences and/or the benefits of it.
Everyone wants to think they are a "good person". Some people are inherently polite; meaning they say and do the "right" things for other people to think they are good. They smile at the right times and only laugh at a certain decibel. Many people prefer their personality because of their propriety and that is their reward. They like how it feels to be approved of.
Well, news flash - That ain't me. I am a creative person. I grow and I learn though my experiences and I express those concepts to the world. My freedom brings freedom to others because I know what I feel and I give it to you raw. That is beautiful and that is also ugly. Take it or leave it, it is me. I love me. I love being a singer/songwriter/producer who can take my life experience and yours too and put some music to it and make you cry, laugh or smile. . I love the fact that if I feel like running down the street I do it. I am free.
I do what I want to do and so does everyone else. The only difference with a person like me is that I say it. Most people are motivated by something, even if it is disguised as not being so and doing something for someone else. There is still always a selfish motivation. Let's take the kindest of persons as an example. You are a philanthropist and you love giving to others. The most likely truth is you like the feeling you get when other people show appreciation. That could simply be it when it's boiled down. You don't get that feeling anywhere else so while you seem like the ultimate do gooder, you are motivated by a selfish feeling, which is to feel valuable and worthy of respect. This principle can be applied across the board, whether a person is driven to succeed, be a family man or to donate time, there is a reward in it.
So what motivates you? Why are you doing that same thing over and over again? Do you blame others for the consequences of your own actions? Are you actually not aware of self? I used to be that way. I used to give everything to everyone and not even consider myself. I became angry and bitter because all of my time and energy was spent trying to please people who never gave me the appreciation I sought and actually continued to take advantage whenever possible. It was only when someone asked me why I do it that I had to analyze myself and the answer came to me. That's when I felt good about me.... when I was doing for others. This person said to me, what is good about you OUTSIDE of what you do for others? That was the day I started moving toward my freedom.
I am beautiful because I am. I am worthy of love just for being me. I don't have to please others to be acceptable. I DO WHAT I WANT and I am good enough. Everything has a consequence and I am strong enough to handle it. I give what is good and I expect a result from my good. If God is pleased with me, I am pleased with myself. I hope you can come to that today f if you haven't already. You are good enough. Do what you want.