When it hurts
Blogs are for you, blogs are for me. I write them to let the energy out to the universe and hope that you will catch it and use it for your own good. We are the collective... ideally sending out compassion once we've learned but also learning from the failings of others.
Life is interesting. Once you think you have figured it out, suddenly it changes again. I personally spent my life to date thinking it was supposed to be about certain things and learning that the things I thought were permanent never were. Although I admire so many people who make lifetime decisions and stick to them with the help of good fortune, that has not been my life. My life has been like my personality, full of changes, excitements, disappointments, interests and diversity. I suppose it is the gemini in me; ever seeking, ever learning, ever unsatisfied too. And as much as people think I love change, change still hurts.
Change is life. If life is change and change intrinsically hurts, much of life can. I heard it said best by a friend recently, " Life is hard but it's mostly good". I agree with this. There is so much beauty to be observed and appreciated... however, when there is emptiness, it can be profound. My own life has changed profoundly in the last 24 months and sometimes that change really hurts. My changes hurt because they became a separate personality that I found myself identifying with. I am this, or I am that becomes your truth and when life no longer aligns with that, we are forced to redefine. I suppose then it is redefinition that hurts and not so much change. If there is great change that does not require this identify shift, it is ineffectual.
So what do you do when redefinition hurts? You remember the changes you've endured. I remember feeling afraid of graduating and leaving my friends behind. I survived that. I remember going through a divorce and waking up hoping that one day I would awaken without my heart breaking. I remember giving birth and thinking that moment and all it's scariness would never end and yet it did. All things are able to be endured. All seasons have an end and each storm eventually runs out of rain.
So when it rains, dance.... cry. If you can't cry, let the rain cry for you. If it hurts, remember who you are. You are beautiful! Someone... and maybe a group of someones, actually loves you and you are essential to the workings of their lives. Someone misses you drastically and wishes just for a coffee with you. Someone longs to hear your voice on the phone. That's the truth. Remember that life is short and you must live like you have no promises from God. All you have is today and you must make the most of it.