I'm mad at me
Anger.... it's an interesting thing. From what I understand it is a secondary emotion. That means we are usually feeling something totally different than anger but use that emotion to protect ourselves from revealing the true vulnerable emotions we are feeling. We may not even be aware that we are feeling hurt if anger is our go-to place. We just get "mad" and "go off".
As it relates to anger, I realized recently that I was angry about certain things but never expressed that. I rarely if ever showed it to others because I was not comfortable with anger being an emotion for me at all. This is probably because I know so many people who use it to control others. Loud volume and harsh words are not my thing at all. In fact I can't stand it when someone is yelling and screaming in your face. What are you really supposed to do with that?
What are people really mad about when they are mad? I feel like many people (including me)
are actually mad at themselves. They are mad about the choices they have made, mad about a lack of control they feel, mad that they cant extract themselves from a situation. People are also mad because they don't have faith. We think other people are in control of their lives when in fact we and life are. If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it today, change it tomorrow. You are not a victim and neither am I. If I don't like an element in my life I am the only one who can effect that change. Are there consequences to changing? Of course! Are there consequences to not changing? Of course! You have to decide what cost you are willing to pay though.
When you are angry STOP. Stop and say to yourself, "what are you really feeling?". Let yourself feel that true emotion. Be ok with crying if you need to cry. Talk to yourself about the fact that you have power to change any situation. Change is painful so be ready for it... but not changing and being angry is dangerous. It causes illness and it breaks relationships. Your unwillingness to be raw with YOURSELF is destructive.
I have made some bad choices. I know what they are. I have been angry with me about those things but everyday I make a decision to move in the right direction. As long as I'm doing that anger only lives in me momentarily. It does not control me or my relationships. I won't allow it. I am in control, not anger. I choose change. Take your power back.